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It’s a little after six in the morning and she’s not slept yet. There’s an eerie quiet to the city, the sudden realisation of midnight leaving people shocked and guilt-ridden. Cassie’s amongst these people. She’s spent the last six hours crying and hating herself, not sure what to do.
She almost killed Spencer. She stabbed him and beat him and almost—
The thought makes tears swell in her eyes once again and she pulls in a jagged breath, hating herself just a little bit more when she thought she couldn’t possibly do it any more so. The one person she loves the most, the one she would never in her wildest dreams want to hurt. And it still happened, the Rift made her do it and she wasn’t strong enough not to.
She hurts. Her hands hurt, her face hurts. But more than anything, her heart hurts. More than it ever has before. And she hates herself and it’s all wrong, so very wrong.
Hugging herself against the damp coldness around her, she heads along a quiet path. She’s not heading anywhere, just aimlessly wandering around the misty park until she spots something out the corner of her eyes: a lump of beige-coloured fabric. Cautiously stalking through the wet grass, it’s not until she’s up close does she panic and reach out for it.
Castiel’s trenchcoat. She knows it’s his; she can’t mistake it for anything else.
“Oh, god… god, no, please…”
Turning the coat over in her hands, she looks about, narrowing her eyes to try and see through the mist. It’s no good. She can’t see anything or anyone. She can’t see Cas.
“No, no, no…”
She knows it’s probably not the best idea to start shouting after people in the Park when she’s on her own like this, but she’s not thinking properly. Her brain’s exhausted and slowly starting to panic because there is an angel without his trenchcoat and that is never a good thing. Ever.
“Cas?” she yells out, the emptiness of the park carrying the sound off. “Cas?!"
There’s a pause and she listens, waiting for a reply that doesn’t come.
“Cas?! Cas, where are you?!” She cups her hands to her mouth, but there’s still no reply.
Cassie swallows thickly, dropping to her knees and pressing her hands together in prayer and closing her eyes tightly. “Okay. Okay… Cas? Cas, please. Please tell me you can hear me. I.. I don’t know where you are, please be alright – just… give me something, let me know you’re… you’re still here.”
There’s a long silence, she purses her lips, her face grimacing in desperation. “Fuck. Please. Please, Cas. Please be okay.” She utters urgently.
And it doesn’t matter how long she kneels there praying, he doesn’t turn up. He doesn’t answer her prayers. She doesn’t want to think about it, but she knows. She knows.
Her best friend isn’t here.
And things just so much worse.
She almost killed Spencer. She stabbed him and beat him and almost—
The thought makes tears swell in her eyes once again and she pulls in a jagged breath, hating herself just a little bit more when she thought she couldn’t possibly do it any more so. The one person she loves the most, the one she would never in her wildest dreams want to hurt. And it still happened, the Rift made her do it and she wasn’t strong enough not to.
She hurts. Her hands hurt, her face hurts. But more than anything, her heart hurts. More than it ever has before. And she hates herself and it’s all wrong, so very wrong.
Hugging herself against the damp coldness around her, she heads along a quiet path. She’s not heading anywhere, just aimlessly wandering around the misty park until she spots something out the corner of her eyes: a lump of beige-coloured fabric. Cautiously stalking through the wet grass, it’s not until she’s up close does she panic and reach out for it.
Castiel’s trenchcoat. She knows it’s his; she can’t mistake it for anything else.
“Oh, god… god, no, please…”
Turning the coat over in her hands, she looks about, narrowing her eyes to try and see through the mist. It’s no good. She can’t see anything or anyone. She can’t see Cas.
“No, no, no…”
She knows it’s probably not the best idea to start shouting after people in the Park when she’s on her own like this, but she’s not thinking properly. Her brain’s exhausted and slowly starting to panic because there is an angel without his trenchcoat and that is never a good thing. Ever.
“Cas?” she yells out, the emptiness of the park carrying the sound off. “Cas?!"
There’s a pause and she listens, waiting for a reply that doesn’t come.
“Cas?! Cas, where are you?!” She cups her hands to her mouth, but there’s still no reply.
Cassie swallows thickly, dropping to her knees and pressing her hands together in prayer and closing her eyes tightly. “Okay. Okay… Cas? Cas, please. Please tell me you can hear me. I.. I don’t know where you are, please be alright – just… give me something, let me know you’re… you’re still here.”
There’s a long silence, she purses her lips, her face grimacing in desperation. “Fuck. Please. Please, Cas. Please be okay.” She utters urgently.
And it doesn’t matter how long she kneels there praying, he doesn’t turn up. He doesn’t answer her prayers. She doesn’t want to think about it, but she knows. She knows.
Her best friend isn’t here.
And things just so much worse.
