Cassie Riddle (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ohstarryeyed) wrote2010-09-09 02:11 am
ohstarryeyed) wrote2010-09-09 02:11 am
Thoughts/Notes on 'The Chicago Underground'. [locked against CLF]
Sometimes, writing everything out makes me feel better. My head is getting kinda dizzy.
When I read this.. well, it's some kind of weird unknown journal, The Chicago Underground or something. But yeah... when I read it, I only just realised how complicated this city is. I always kinda stayed out of Politics back home, but this is... it's just so much more here. This is something I never really thought I'd be able to imagine, let alone comprehend.
I thought the Rift was my main problem here in Chicago, dealing with powers I don't really want. I mean, I can guess how people might find turning invisible, making these pitch black smog screens and making shadow animals fascinating or whatever. But sometimes, I.. I just don't see the point. I didn't ask for them and I've never really wanted them, but I can't really do anything about it. I have to deal with them, I guess.
But no, that's not my main worry any more.
The whole angels and demons thing as well as the CLF.. it's really scary. It's like.. on top of everything.. there's some kind of war going on. Everyone's just fighting for so many different things. This is serious... this is... it's just something I would've never ever thought about. There's just so much more that's going on here. I feel kinda stupid for not paying as much attention. I guess I've just been scared of stuff, maybe. But right now, I just get the feeling that Wanderers are getting caught up in angels' and demons' wars and I'm worried for everyone. Most of the people I know, the people who're my friends in this city, are Wanderers and I really worry for them. I really do.
I don't even know what I'm saying any more. This.. this just sucks so bad.
I just wish people would stop fucking fighting. I'm just so, so tired now.
Also... I don't know what a 'Neqa'el' is... erm. Firsts is something familiar... is a Neqa'el like, the demon version of a First or something?
When I read this.. well, it's some kind of weird unknown journal, The Chicago Underground or something. But yeah... when I read it, I only just realised how complicated this city is. I always kinda stayed out of Politics back home, but this is... it's just so much more here. This is something I never really thought I'd be able to imagine, let alone comprehend.
I thought the Rift was my main problem here in Chicago, dealing with powers I don't really want. I mean, I can guess how people might find turning invisible, making these pitch black smog screens and making shadow animals fascinating or whatever. But sometimes, I.. I just don't see the point. I didn't ask for them and I've never really wanted them, but I can't really do anything about it. I have to deal with them, I guess.
But no, that's not my main worry any more.
The whole angels and demons thing as well as the CLF.. it's really scary. It's like.. on top of everything.. there's some kind of war going on. Everyone's just fighting for so many different things. This is serious... this is... it's just something I would've never ever thought about. There's just so much more that's going on here. I feel kinda stupid for not paying as much attention. I guess I've just been scared of stuff, maybe. But right now, I just get the feeling that Wanderers are getting caught up in angels' and demons' wars and I'm worried for everyone. Most of the people I know, the people who're my friends in this city, are Wanderers and I really worry for them. I really do.
I don't even know what I'm saying any more. This.. this just sucks so bad.
I just wish people would stop fucking fighting. I'm just so, so tired now.
Also... I don't know what a 'Neqa'el' is... erm. Firsts is something familiar... is a Neqa'el like, the demon version of a First or something?
no subject
It took me a long time to not be scared of things, but it's hard to be scared of anything when you know death as well as I do and you feel it so many times. I don't know. Not a whole lot left to be scared of, but there's still a few things that can do it.
no subject
I agree. If death doesn't bother you there's only so much that's scary. I guess things worse than death mostly. But I'm learning to see the good in everything. I have a sort of mentor who's helping me with that though.
And I guess you are right about what you said below. We should probably just talk in person sometime. I don't know if you can fill up a journal but it kind of looks a bit. Something. What you said, or didn't say.