I... feel exactly the same way.

I think Callings are beautiful, but I don't want angels and demons to fight. I don't want to be part of a war, and I don't understand the politics... but I feel like I have to, both of them. I feel like I have to or people won't be safe. But it's scary and it's bigger than me and there's too much of it, so much to just process and deal with and face every day and it only feels like it keeps getting bigger.

If you ever just want someone to talk to about that... I understand it. Because I really just feel so over my head too.

Also, about your powers? If you want me to help you try and understand what's good about them, maybe... I mean, I'm an occultist. And I believe powers have their purpose, and if we have them we should try and understand them and work with them and we'll be happier.

But this place is so chaotic, and working out why things work the way they work... it's such a tangle, I can't even work out things like why people would have a Calling that makes them kill people. I just hope you can take faith in the idea that somehow, it all works out.

I want so badly to sort my way through this mess. I've never been anywhere so physically, and metaphysically, complicated.